3 Lies About Parenting Neurodivergent Kids
They’re lying to you.
See, everyone and their brother loves to talk about what it looks like to parent neurodivergent kids.
They ESPECIALLY love to tell us what we SHOULD and SHOULDN’T be doing.
And sometimes the lies are said with such confidence we can’t help but start to believe they must be true.
But believing these lies can make your life harder when you’re just trying to keep your neurofamily functioning.
So over the next five minutes, I’m going to walk you through the biggest lies you’ve been told about Parenting Neurodivergent Kids.
That way you can find the truth for yourself and your neurofamily.
3 Lies About Parenting Neurodivergent Kids
And because I’m so tired of people peddling lies about parenting neurodivergent kids, I’ve created a brand new training for you sharing my 3-part framework to become the architect of your neurofamily.
In this free masterclass, you’ll discover:
The 3-Part Framework for becoming the architect of your neurofamily so you can build it by design instead of default.
A real-life example from a mom who struggled to get her child up in the morning (and how her son went from being tardy every day to showing up on time 4 days per week!)
The one thing all of my successful clients have in common (Psst: you might already have this even if you don’t know it yet!)
A clear plan to follow whether you’re trying to stop the meltdowns, set and stick to boundaries that actually work, or effectively advocate for your neurofamily.
Plus you’ll get a sneak peek at my brand new program Neurofamily Architect where you get high-touch coaching and support while you create unique parenting blueprints for your neurofamily.
Click here to sign up for the free live training!
But if we haven’t met already, hey friend, Kaylene here!
I’m a neurodivergent mom of 6 neurodivergent kids, and I empower parents of neurodivergent kids to become the architect of their neurofamily so they create it by design instead of default.
Now over the next five minutes, I’m going to walk you through three specific lies about parenting neurodivergent kids.
And these lies are spread by therapists, teachers, other parents, and even tons of neurodivergent “experts” online.
So no feeling bad if you’ve believed them up to this point, promise? :)
Lie #1 Their Diagnosis is EVERYTHING
I know that in the beginning, it feels like finding and understanding your child’s specific diagnosis is the end-all-be-all of parenting neurodivergent kids.
You find tons of “Autistic kids need visuals” and “ADHD kids need reminders!”
The problem with that is that even when we get specific to a diagnosis, the advice is still just a generalization.
Instead, let’s focus on what YOUR KID does, needs, and prefers, regardless of their specific diagnosis.
Does your child thrive with routine, or do they need a low-demand free schedule?
Does your child need visuals, or are they super auditory?
Focusing on this will help you find the unique flavor of strategies that actually works for your specific neurofamily.
Lie #2 “You’re the Grown Up, You Should Just Deal”
If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard some version of this, I’d be a rich lady.
But the advice makes my skin crawl.
I fully believe that my kids’ needs matter and they deserve to be accommodated.
I don’t expect that to change when they turn 18.
Why the heck would it change for me?
The fact is, HUMANS need and deserve accommodations.
Humans get dysregulated. Humans need support.
Instead of ignoring your own needs in order to frantically meet your child’s…
(Which, by the way, just leads to you completely burning out and meeting no one’s needs)
I want you to instead focus on creating a culture of co-accommodation in your neurofamily.
Where yes, you accommodate your kids, but also they sometimes accommodate you.
You are not unreasonable for wanting, and even expecting, your family to accommodate your needs to the best of their ability.
Lie #3 You HAVE TO Do Things One Way
Or, more generally, that you have to do things at all.
Hear me out: I am not invalidating that there’s a TON on your plate.
And that if you drop even one ball your entire neurofamily would tear apart because you are the very thread holding everyone and everything together.
That’s ABSOLUTELY true.
Now here’s the flip side: There are parents of kids just like yours NOT doing those things every single day.
There are parents that don’t accommodate their kids or follow the most up to date parenting research.
There are parents that don’t make sure their kids have safe foods or that they pass their classes.
Am I recommending you become that parent? No.
But I think it’s important to recognize the choices we are making.
We are choosing to continually show up for our kids.
We are choosing to learn more about them and meet them where they’re at.
We are choosing to find the balance between accommodating them and also raising them to be good humans.
And it also means that we get to make choices about HOW we go about that.
Do you prioritize building the life skill or lowering demands? Up to you.
Do you prioritize everyone’s peace, or holding to the boundary? Up to you.
Once you realize you can make empowered choices about these things, you’ll feel a lot less like every piece of advice contradicts the other.
Forget what you have to do or what’s “right” and focus on what’s RIGHT FOR YOU and your neurofamily in this current season.
And don’t forget, I’ve created a brand new training for you sharing my 3-part framework to become the architect of your neurofamily.
In this free masterclass, you’ll discover:
The 3-Part Framework for becoming the architect of your neurofamily so you can build it by design instead of default.
A real-life example from a mom who struggled to get her child up in the morning (and how her son went from being tardy every day to showing up on time 4 days per week!)
The one thing all of my successful clients have in common (Psst: you might already have this even if you don’t know it yet!)
A clear plan to follow whether you’re trying to stop the meltdowns, set and stick to boundaries that actually work, or effectively advocate for your neurofamily.
Plus you’ll get a sneak peek at my brand new program Neurofamily Architect where you get high-touch coaching and support while you create unique parenting blueprints for your neurofamily.
